...

I miss my family a great deal; more and more as each day passes. Its especially hard on the weekends when I cannot adequately fill my time. I know for the past 7 years I have lived away from home, but this experience is so dramatically different than college. In college I was only a few hours away plus I could call them regularly. Being on the other side of the planet is so much more difficult. I go months without hearing their voices and its really strange to me. I guess I have always considered myself fairly independent from my family, but these days I tear up at reality shows when contestants are sent home and reunited with their loved ones. It makes me think about returning home and what the scene at the airport will be like. I know I will cry, but c'mon, who wouldn't.

What makes me even more nervous is thinking about what happens after the airport. Where do I go? What do I do? What happens after Peace Corps? I mean, I only have 15 months remaining which really isn't much time to figure out my life... especially b/c I am working and working in a foreign country. There are so many decisions to be made and I honestly hae no freakin idea. Part of me wants to go back to Dallas, although I have not lived there for 7 years now. I have connections elsewhere, but I don't know. Then there is always the option of starting over someplace new yet again. I just keep hoping for a point in my life where I have everything figured out, but the older I get, the more I realize that this will never happen. Which, I guess, is living. Making the best choices you can when you can and just accepting that it will all work itself out. As unsettling as that is, what choice do we really have?

LLM,

CEO