With October now finally over, I find myself staring bleakly into November and the impending winter. When the past month began, I remember some how feeling rejuvenated about why I am here. I was so excited and things were seeming to go my way. I began this blog in the mindset that my positive outlook would continue unfaltering, and while I know that this was a unrealistic notion, I still had hope. I think what takes me further away from my optimistic center is the fact that my life here is drastically affected by seemingly small obstacles and/or triumphs. And I am speaking literally when I say that my mood can easily flip-flop in the matter of seconds. Little things such as a Halloween card from my third graders has the ability to gleefully carry me through the day while seeing my eighth grade girls turn in a blank test utterly shatters me. I think that if there was even some hint of mild, emotional consistency in my life, I would be less concerned. If it were all going to be miserable, I could prepare. If it were all going to be jubilant elation, I would accept it openly. But my emotions lately have been as unpredictable and as dramatic as the Bulgarian weather. I just want some freakin' consistency (in my emotional state and the weather). Hell, I would settle for some middle ground. I just cannot handle the intensity of how high the highs are and how low the lows can be. This week I will specifically set aside time to determine how balance can be achieved. If anyone has suggestions, feel free to let me know.
In keeping with the becomingly more apparent manic theme of this blog, I would like to share that last week was overall the best week I have had since I have been here. In fact, I was so busy enjoying it, I never found time to blog about it. There is absolutely nothing better than Halloween Week for an elementary school teacher. If only I could afford to incorporate candy into every lesson. If you are curious to see what Halloween looked like in the PK, please refer to Facebook. Its just too late for me to try and add pictures to this blog right now.
And, if you are still reading this, I would like to say how great it was to see everyone at Halloween in VT. I had a wonderful time and it was fantastic to meet so many new people. I was a little disappointed in the homo-no show, but only b/c I never get to see those guys/gals. I also really appreciated everyone who lent me parts of their costume so that I could truly enjoy the holiday. I don't know how it happened, but this was yet another Halloween that involved me, a wig and too much eye make-up. Although, for some one who showed up without a costume, I think I totally rocked my interpretation of "East German Cougar". I can't wait for those pictures to be published on FB. There is so much more I want to write, but for now I am going to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow's lesson plans will come to me in my sleep.
Love, Laughter and Music,
The Always "Professionally Appropriate" Cory, Son of Ol
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Wish I could say the roller-coaster ride stops, but it doesn't seem to. Make sure you find something that you can do for yourself to make you feel happy and centered. I found that depending too much on the work here to make me happy just made me feel like I was losing my mind.
ReplyDeleteAnd sorry I missed you at Halloween. Glad you had fun!