King of the Fire!

Today, I finally managed to light a fire on my first attempt! While this seems like an easy task, it is shockingly difficult. I have also learned that old math homework burns better than any other type of homework which only further proves the point that math is from hell.

In other exciting news, my kindergarten class is quickly becoming the best 30 minutes of teaching I have all week long. While the retention is low, enthusiasm is high... its especially fun for me b/c not only do these children not speak a word of English, but they also don't know Bulgarian. They only speak Roma. They are SO cute though, despite there being 35 of them. I think that they might actually learn the English alphabet before the Bulgarian... I can only hope. Seriously though, I love these kids.

Finally, I have decided that I have to stop watching the Biggest Loser and frankly, most Reality TV in general. Every time they show some one going home I cry when they get to see their families. I feel like this experience is much like a reality TV show with out cameras. Bernie acts as my confessional booth and I am afraid I am going to get eliminated. Bernie probably would vote me out of the country if he only had thumbs to write down my name. Well, I should go to bed before I get emotional again... Leke nosht...

LLM,
CEO

This day would have ended 3 hours ago if it weren't fo that damned coffee....

Part of the reason I started this blog was so one day I could look back and remember everything that happened in my two years in the BG. However, today is a day I wouldn't mind forgetting. From the moment I woke up (an hour and a half after my alarm went off) to just now when my pack of dogs, after being outside for 40 minutes, came inside and all shit on my carpet... I just want to forget it. Days like this require massive quantities of food and preferably food I do not have to prepare. But seeing how I live in a village that closes at 7:00 and has no fine dining establishments, I have to settle with my last package of faux Ramen Noodles. I guess I could have gone Na Gosti but to be honest, I don't have the energy after teaching, travelling to Ruse for a meeting I didn't understand and getting yelled at while trying to buy snow boots. I did, however, manage to buy a sweater vest which I thought was a sweater. It also looks very much like the only other sweater vest I brought with me to Bulgaria... yay! I love sweater vests...

You might be thinking that this kind of writing is the antithesis of what I had intended for this blog, and well you are right. But good things come from this as well. For example, I can now go to bed with out feeling so angry. Also, frustration makes chopping wood a hell of a lot easier (I am still trying to work on making it more masculine). I have also learned not to feed my dogs so much so late in the day and to look down before I get off the couch. See, there is a silver lining.

I almost broke down and bought a pack of cigarettes today... cold weather begs for cigarettes and/or whiskey. Instead, I voted for Beauty and the Geek: Australia, Season Two. I am not sure if I can count that as a victory seeing as its relatively depressing. My BG life is at least multi-cultural. Also on the depressing front, I wanted to run today (b/c it was finally sunny) but it was already too dark when I got back from Ruse and something freaks me out about running through a field in the middle of the night. Anyway, on days like this, when I feel I have suffered more failures than had successes, I like to think of things that make me laugh. I would like to share some of my favorite BG moments thus far that still make me laugh:

10) Anytime I get to inform people who have been talking about me that I understand Bulgarian...
9) The woman at my magazine who refuses to sell me flour because one time I said I cannot cook...
8) When, on my first day at my satellite site, my host sister passed me a note saving "My mother wants you to remove your shirt."
7) Discovering that Anagrams for my name are "Rosy Colon" or "Drowsy Canoodler" depending on if you include my middle name...
6) Being beaten by a Bulgarian at English Speed Scrabble
5) The bus driver in Byala who thought I didn't know I had arrived at my destination so he kindly yelled "AMERICAN! GET OFF!"
4) The entire 7th grade class carrying the couch from the director's office to my house and me with out my camera
3) In trying to tell Baba Nikki we were kidnapping Tanya, I kept saying we were changing her clothes
2) When asking my 7th graders what was special about our village, Pavlin simply said "I live here"... and that's the only English I have ever heard him speak
1) Everytime Baba Mladenka open mouth kissed Matt....

And being able to decide how I feel, is today's everyday victory! I am so going to bed!

Love, Laughter and Music,
CE the O

Laughter

Today I cannot stop laughing at the new experiences I get to have everyday. This has actually been the theme of the week. While yes there have been many many stresses (i.e. the 5th Grade), I just cannot wipe the smile from my face.

This actually got me into a little trouble at the my first parent teacher meeting this week. Maybe it was the ridiculousness of not understanding anything that was being said, maybe it was the parents coming in over an hour late or maybe it was the kindergarten class making faces at me, but I could not stop laughing. It wasn't an out loud guffaw but more of one of those silent, body shaking laughters. I tried biting my lip and thinking of something else but nothing seemed to work. What made it worse is that my counterpart started laughing with me as well as the music teacher. The three of us were just in the back laughing, occasionally getting looks from curious parents. I love those moments were words are not even needed to explain why something is funny and everyone knows it just is..... When we got to the topic of the Swine Flu, I really lost it. After over an hour of not understanding anything, understanding "SWINE FLU" in Bulgarian struck me as particularly amusing. Seeing how I have been sick all week, I leaned over to my counterpart and whispered that I in fact have the swine flu and have to go home and then we started laughing out loud. Thank God the meeting soon after and none of the other teachers were brave enough to try to ask me why we were laughing.

Something else that struck me as odd this week was having to take my 5th grade class to get some immunization. I have no idea what shot they received and I am thankful I knew how to decline the shot myself. ...

Finally, in the past two hours, I have had my furnace hooked up and was shown how to chop wood by a woman in heels... BG women are serious yo. This same lady gave me a TV and now I am watching Animal Planet.... thanks Bulgaria.

*************************************************************************************

Sorry for the sudden break, but as I am writing this blog, my life has gotten infinitely more insane. In the past 30 minutes I have been given two more puppies and a cat! WHAT!?!?!?!? How do I all of a suddenly have a freaking animal reserve in my house?!?!?!?! YIKES! Ummm... please some one help me out here... free cute puppies; first come first serve... the cat might go to Ingrid but I will have to wait and see... ummmmm.... Dr. Freakin Doolittle....

Cluelessly Yours,

CEO

The Two New Pups and Bernard looking pissed in the background

The New Cat I hope Ingrid will take... he/she is sweet just frightened right now

Happy Monday to all who are reading this blog. I am going to try to keep it short tonight as it is nearing my bed time and I exercised entirely too much today.

All is quiet here in Lake Woebegone...er.. um... I mean the PK. I am still adjusting my schedule to include Bernard. This is the first time in my life that another living being has relied solely upon my care. It really makes me nervous but it also makes me happy at the same time. As I type he is asleep (finally) in my lap. He spent the first half of the day outside and he wasn't really happy about that. I have a giant back yard and he refuses to leave the back step. I cannot wait until he is old enough to run with me. Oh, and last night he wet the bed thus he will be sleeping in his box in the bathroom tonight. Washing a comforter by hand is time consuming.

Teaching is still crazy. Everyday I am handed something new to sign and not expected to read/understand it. I am convinced that I have actually agreed to live here permanently and will find out in two years when I try to leave. It wouldn't be so bad I guess. Its not like I am going to go back to the US and have my own house, this kind of job security or people who bring me random vegetables. I would however insist on changing the carpet and getting a new bed.

So last time I wrote I wanted to know opinions about the limits of God. And I feel that all who would read that statement would say "Cory, how dare you say God is limited... He(?) is GOD!" To which I say you are absolutely right. God, in my understanding, is limitless (except for intervening with the whole free-will thing (thanks Bruce Almighty)). But why then do so many believe that women who have abortions are going to hell. That homosexuals will join them and that adulterers are also condemned. Why put these limits on God's love? Why is God limitless in every aspect except for love? My God is a god of unfathomable love. UNFATHOMABLE! We cannot even begin to understand His great capacity for love nor do I think need to. We need to have faith that our God's love is beyond our comprehension and if we trust in that love, all will be right. Obviously, easier said than done. I know I am still working on it. I speak more on this later when I am not exhausted and can actually make points that are not repetitively redundant. I am off to bed...

Love, Laughter and Music,

Cory

PS - Please don't misunderstand earlier comments about abortion, homosexuality and adultery; I was not comparing them. I do not think homosexuality is a sin. Although if I did my therapist would be happy... these examples are VERY different and I was trying to name things under the category "Reasons People Say You Go to HELL"... can't you just see that on the $100,000 Pyramid....

PUPPY!!!!!

Well guys, I no longer live alone. I now live with a 10 week old rat terrier mix named Bernard. Despite his initial hesitations, he has warmed up to the idea of living with me and even as I type he is asleep at my feet. All I have to say is that this dog has personality! I had mentioned naming him Argyle to which he looked at me, lowered his head and sighed. And yes, I am going to become one of those people who talks WAY to much about his dog... I mean, I have wanted a puppy since college. This is just perfect timing I feel.

This puppy however was not the best part of my day. Bernard was just the icing on the cake. I had wonderful week at school, I patched things up with my dad, and even got to talk to him on skype. I talked to my kids about starting a "Sports Club" (who would of thought that I would help start a sports club?) and we decided to meet every Monday and Friday and play games and exercise. I even talked to an 8th grader about why she should quit smoking. I also scheduled my first adult English class and made signs (in Bulgarian (with some help)) and now I just have to put them up. Overall, my energy is really high and I am excited about what I am doing with my life.

This also makes me stop and think how easy it is to "find God" in these good times when we are happy. I guess it has always struck me as odd that we are always God's "Fair Weather Friend". We treat him like a sports team. When they are winning everyone loves them, but the moment they stop winning, our support stops too. My point is that its easy to thank God for the sunshine and goodness but hard to find th desire to thank Him for the rain and tragedy. Its hard to thank Him for what can sometimes hurt. However, I think that in my own life, I can better find where God is in the times of tragedy than in times of joy. Looking back at the previous paragraph, how many times did I mention "I"? Ummm... alot. I get excited by the joy and the successes that I simply get swept away. I tend to like to take all the credit when I do not fully deserve it. It makes me feel good, What I am failing to realize is that if I shared credit with God, I would feel better and have a better understanding of his works. The comfort of knowing God's hands were a part of my life today makes me feel better, and with this comfort in mind, I have to go to bed...

Leke Nosht,

Cory

PS - There is always at least one "PS"... I was wondering people's thoughts on two things 1) Obama and the Nobel Peace Prize and 2) your thoughts on a limited God...

Welcome

So I know that this is my third blog attempt and third blog name since leaving the US this past May, but I honestly feel that this will be a blog I can maintain. You see, the other blogs were created because I thought I could be funny and because I wanted to share my experiences from here in small town Bulgaria. While I still believe these goals to are possible, I am writing this new blog primarily as a way to remind myself that everyday life has little victories. Maybe they don't seem like much, but they are there.

What is an everyday victory, you ask? Well I shall tell you. Some days, for me, a small victory is just saying one sentence correctly in Bulgarian. Some days its just waking up and other times its that slight hint that something I have said has made sense to one of my students. Some of my proudest (and some of my worst) moments have been in the kitchen. I made vegetarian moussaka last night and I can make soup now! Who knew I could do that? Another proud moment was catching a mouse that had been running a muck in my house. No I didn't kill it; not for ethical reasons, but more because I didn't want to deal with mouse blood. My point is, everyday victories are different for each of us and I personally don't think we give ourselves enough credit for our small wins.

When was the last time you focused on what was accomplished on your "To Do" list instead of what did not get done? What about driving home safely from work or school? Anyone who has lived in Louisiana knows that this is a victory! I am personally astonished that none of my students have gotten up and walked out on me. I am also amazed that I have found the time and energy to run everyday this week. What I am trying to focus on in this blog is what went right (or simply better). So much time is spent focusing on the "failures" that we often forget about that even though we failed, we tried.

If you are wondering where this is coming from, and I am sure you are, its just that my life is in need of a change. I have been presented with a wonderful opportunity to change my life and I have been focusing on the hardships; I cannot speak the language well, I don't have a car, I have to cook, and trust me the list goes on. If I cannot change my attitude now, I will be miserable for the next two years and I will have not served my community to the best of my ability. Does this mean I am going to complain less, I don't know, but one thing I do know is that I will be conscientiously looking for, and never down playing, my everyday victories.

Rev. Betsy Eaves, the chaplain at Centenary College, used to ask me where I found God everyday. I would often just make something up because most days I was too busy to search for God. Sorry Betsy if you ever read this and sorry God for expecting you to do all the work. I guess now, even though I am still keeping busy, I am willing to put the effort into searching for/listening to God. That's another reason why I am starting this blog. I am trying to listen and something says to me that this is the right time to write about this.

My daily devotional today (2 Kings 5:11-12) was about Naaman , a military leader, who was conflicted with a skin disease and sought out Elisha for healing. Long story made short, Elisha told him to wash in the Jordan seven times, which Naaman thought was beneath him but his servant convinced him to do it anyway and wham bam thank you Mam (God could be a woman), he was cured. Can't you tell I am a GREAT theologian. The point is, Naaman found God somewhere he didn't expect to. I feel like God is always where we least expect him, like Elijah hearing God, not in the earthquakes and all that mess, but in the silence as a still, small voice. And that still, small voice isn't always easy to hear.

I recently listened to a sermon from the Rev. Felix Carrion and he spoke about conversing with God and how it should be just that, a conversation. For me, this is hard. We all know I love to talk and in my time with God, I let loose. And as I said earlier, that still small voice is hard to hear, and when ya don't shut up, its impossible. Well, at least in my life this is true. I often wonder how many things would have been different if I had only listened. However, tonight, while running through a field in Bulgaria, I listened and this is why I am writing now about the things that make my days better. A blog focusing my thoughts on the small, seemingly insignificant happenings in my days. I guess we will all see what comes from it.

Well anyways, welcome to my blog. It's not always going to have the "life is sunshine and rainbows" undertones like this one, but I think it will work for me and I hope you enjoy it.

Love, Laughter and Music,

Cory

PS - I get my devotionals from the Cathedral of Hope's website. There are also sermons available for you to watch and many other great things on their website.

PPS - If a day or two passes without an update, its not because I haven't had any "everyday victories" but rather because I am a Peace Corps Volunteer with loads of responsibilities. These responsibilities will not hinder my search for the everyday victories, but rather will hinder my blogging about them. THANKS!

This is where I run every day